August was the best freakin' month 10x Marketing has had for like…forever. And that's after growing 135 percent during 2004.
"This is, like, WAY cool," said Curt Porritt, el presidente of 10x Marketing. "We made a butt-load of money with our marketing skills. We almost got a sweet deal with Comcast to do all of their marketing, but we couldn't because we already have a customer called Comcash and they don't like each other. Freakin' idiots! Gosh."
Other important people in the company, like Duke John Johannesmeyer and Count Darryl Jacques, spent the month hunting wolverines off Bora Bora. When asked to comment on the upsurge in August productivity, Jacques affirmed, "I could make that much money in five seconds!" The important people in the company returned without hunting trophies, although they did sport gold bracelets, which made them look official. (The gold bracelets are not to be confused with LIVESTRONG crap. Idiots! Gosh!)
Meanwhile, the remaining employees of 10x Marketing spent most of August chatting online with babes all day. "It's pretty much the best month we've ever had," said Mark Montie, a newly-hired Web Content Specialist. "Yessssss," agreed Lead Writer Marci Crane.
To celebrate, plans included drawing pictures and building cakes. When asked about future plans, Presidente Curt Porritt replied that the company would do "Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!" but then he added that he was looking into getting a name tag for himself with a picture.
Sadly, during August we lost many of our most awesome employees known for their magic skills, nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills, sweet bo staff skills. . . . That's okay, though, since all their skills were ruining everybody's lives.
At 10x Marketing, we STILL love technology... Always and forever.
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