A funny thing happened to me on the way home from my boyfriend Micky's house. I was kidnapped. Uhm, maybe I'd better start over. I had spent the evening at Micky's beach house, listening to his band, the Monkees, play. He shared the pad with the other members of the band, Davy, Micky, and Peter. I left at 9:30 so that I could make my curfew at 10:00. Micky offered to drive me the three blocks from his house to mine, but I wanted to walk. It was a little cold outside, so I borrowed Micky's jacket. I was halfway home when I heard something behind me. I turned and saw a black van driving behind me. I though nothing of it until the side door opened and this tall, dumb-looking guy popped out and grabbed me. I tried to scream but he put his hand over my mouth and dragged me ino the van. I noticed the driver as he peeled out. He was bald and very short. "Who are you?" I asked him. "What do you want with me?"
     "Shaddup," said the dum guy.
      "No, no," chuckled the little guy in a foreign accent. "It's all right. She has a right to know. It's not you we're interested. It's your boyfriend."
      "What do you want with him?" I asked.
      "Let's just say he has something I want. So, now I have something he wants."
      "What does he have?" I asked.
      "If I told you that, I'd have to kill you. And then I wouldn't have anything to use against him. So I won't tell you."
      "Fine by me," I replied.
      We drove to a pay phone. Dummy and I stayed in the van while Shorty made a call. I could hear what he was saying. "Micky Dolenz? I have your girlfriend. Yes, she's all right." Aww, Micky asked if I was all right. I would have been even happier if Dummy didn't have a gun on me. "Oh, all right," he said in an aggrivated tone. He motioned for Dummy and I to go to him. He handed me the phone. "Here, he wants to talk to you. But keep it short. And don't say anything about where we are or-." He drew a finger across his throat.
      "Micky?" I asked.
      "M.G.! What is going on?"
      "I have no idea. They just grabbed me on my way home." I slapped my forehead. "OH, NO! I have 15 minutes to get home or I am grounded big time!" Then I realized that grounding wasn't the worst of my troubles.
      "What do they want?"
      "I don't know. Want me to ask them?"
      "Sure."
      I turned to Shorty and said, "He wants to know what you want."
      "Give me that!" he said and took the phone from me. " You have something of mine that I want back. Yes, you do. YES, YOU DO! Do you remember buying a watch from a guy off the street? Well, he was a defector from our country. It doesn't matter which one! In that watch is a bunch of our top secret information. I'll let her go if you give me the watch. back. WHAT!! How could you have lost it!" Shorty shook his head in frustration. "Well, I suggest you remember where you put it! Oh, okay. Go check then." Shorty hummed and tapped his fingers on the phone booth for a few minutes. Suddenly he came to attention. "It wasn't there? All right. Go check there." He waited patiently for another few minutes. "No? There neither? Well, just think about where's the last place you saw it." I was getting impatient.
      "So, are you gonna let me go or what?" I asked.
      Suddenly Shorty got back into character. "You have ten minutes to hand over that watch or the girl gets it!" he thundered into the phone. Then he hung it up. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, I thought. Suddenly, the phone rang. Shorty picked it up. "Hello? How did you--oh, never mind. What do you want? Really! We will be there in five minutes." He hung up the phone and said, "Good for you, Mr. Dolenz remembered where he put my watch." We got into the van and drove to the pad.
      The three of us got out. Shorty barged into the pad. Dummy and I followed. He saw Micky, Mike, Davy, and Peter sitting on the couch. "Well?" he demanded.
      Micky came over to me and gave me a hug. Then he reached his hand into the pocket of the jacket I was wearing and pulled out a watch. "You mean to tell me--" Shorty stammered.
      Suddenly Micky launched into one of his spaz attacks. Shorty, Dummy, and I just stared. All of a sudden he stopped and smiled with a look of satisfaction on his face. That is when Shorty, Dummy, and I noticed that Shorty and Dummy were tied up. During Micky's brilliant performance, Davy and Mike had tied them up!
      Mike got on the phone with the police. I went over to Micky and said, "How did you DO that?"
      "Well," he explained, "You see, I distracted them while--"
      "That's NOT what I meant," I interrupted. Then I laughed. "You are brillliant!"
      "Who, me? Nah. Just a genius. Or a wise man. . ."
      "A wise-GUY, maybe. . ." I retorted.
      "Yeah, but isn't that why you love me?" He asked with a grin.
      "Uhmm, I dunno. I forgot. . ." I frowned. Then I smiled back at him. "By the way, thanks for saving my life."
      "Oh, it was nothing. You may come in handy someday." He instantly ran and ducked for cover as I threw a pillow at him. I took the watch, which was now on the table, and was going to throw that at him, too when I looked at it and noticed the time.
      "Ohmygosh! If I'm not home in five minutes, I'm dead!"
      "NOW will you let me drive you home?" he teased.
      "After what just happened, I won't let you NOT drive me," I replied.

by M. G.

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